For us Valentine’s Day has never really meant much. Before there really was an "us", before the kids, before the marriage; Valentine's day came about during that limbo period where neither of us were sure whether the relationship was going anywhere.
So that year we headed to possibly the least romantic place on the planet - Rochester (no offence residents of Rochester) we had a drunken night out (don't get many of them anymore) had our bank balance checked before being allowed to enter a restaurant, saved a girl from a terrible blind date (turned out she was the weird one) oh and Emma set herself on fire. 🔥
Fast forward a couple of years we were preparing to celebrate Valentine's on our honeymoon in Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt.
Without any thought for the date we had booked an excursion; trekking up mount Sinai in the middle of the night in order to watch the sunrise from the top. Of all the excursions it was the one that our rep Sayed desperately tried to put us off of "it's a very long trek" "it's very cold" "you can't book it with just 2 people" etc
We had waited a week before he found another couple who wanted to go with us, and at about 10pm on the 13th of February we picked them up from their hotel on the way to Moses Mountain.
After a few hours in the mini bus we arrived at the foot of the mountain. We stepped off the bus to a fresh night, lit brightly by the African sky.
Finally I shook the hand of Yoseph who was then introduced to us as our guide. Yoseph was a Bedwin with a hut on top of Sinai Mountain and for the next few hours he was looking after us.
We were handed a flashlight then "ya la" (let's go) at first the walk was brisk but easy, on a gentle slope. We passed by St Catherine's monastery where we would be heading on our decent the following day and continued on the winding path in front of us.
Higher and higher we climbed passing tiny colourful shops as we went, all closed up for the night but as we passed Yoseph would call out "As salaam alaykum" and a little voice from inside would always reply. The wind had picked up now, and litter spiralled around us - even up there, empty water bottles and wrappers covered the place.
Our newly made friends, Gwen and Arron were interesting to talk to, but they were smokers and kept needing a rest. At first we were happy to sit for a short while but as we got higher and the weather set in, it became frustrating.
We had just reached the "steps" to the summit, boulders, some over a meter in diameter which in the wind that had picked up we were now climbing on our hands and knees (Egyptian health and safety obviously didn't include a weather check)
It was slow going waiting for Yoseph who of course wanted us all to stay together but I decided me and Emma weren't hanging around and he gave me instruction so we could go off ahead on our own.
Once we hit the summit the wind became twice as bad, and we were struggling to stay on our feet, but directly ahead of us was a hut with the fire lit so we headed in. "Yoseph's?" I asked the Bedwin inside "of course" he said as he wrapped a blanket around our shoulders and handed each of us a cup of sweet Egyptian tea. His hut was beautiful; stone built with a fire pit surrounded by soft bedding with a small kitchen area.
We sat basking in the heat sipping our tea for about half an hour surrounded by sleeping bodies next to us, when the torchlight of the others came over the horizon - headed towards us - turned the corner - and headed away!
"Yoseph's?" I repeated, "of course!" He repeated.
We quickly chucked him some change and made our way after the gang. Yoseph's actual hut was nowhere near as impressive; it was timber built, stood on the very edge of the mountain and seemingly had been wallpapered in Christmas wrapping paper.
By now the wind was blowing ferociously across the top of the mountain and you could hear Yoseph's hut rustling before you could see it.
Inside, he lit an open fire in the middle and began brewing some thick Egyptian tea, he instructed us to make ourselves comfortable on the wooden plank beds and gave us itchy, stiff blankets.
Lanterns provided little light, and the combination of the noise, hard seating and still cold surroundings made us long for our first friends stone dwelling.
We still didn't really know the plan, but after tea I asked Yoseph a question that I worried I probably knew the answer to.. "Is there a toilet Yoseph?"
To my Suprise Yoseph said yes and gladly pointed into the dark, cold, windy night outside.
I headed off with my torch, until I was no longer able to stand in the wind, by this time I could see a block shape on the opposite corner of the mountain top.
As I crawled closer I found a Portaloo shaped canvas tent, now stood at a horizontal angle to the incoming wind.
As I round it I found a hole in the floor, squat toilet.
Now we have frequented plenty of squat toilets, however none before have been a hole chiselled out of a mountain over hang, falling away to a few hundred foot drop below.
I did my business trying not to think about the vulnerable position I had found myself in, or the potential "mess" we had walked through on the path below just a couple of hour ago.
Once I got back to the hut, everyone was doing their best impression of sleeping humans.
I debated going back to first Yoseph's hut but decided I would join them in the charade, until some time, and no sleep later, a crack of light began to appear through the door.
I gave Yoseph a shake, who seemed to be used to the sleeping conditions and by now was snoring.
- Me: "Yoseph, the sun is coming up!"
- Yoseph "no, sleep more!"
Luckily Emma was awake too, so we made our way out. It was still cold, super cold but the wind had calmed a little.
The last climb to the very peak, is almost a shear face, maybe only 10 feet with plenty of hand and foot holds.
Emma was too cold to lose the blanket so she tied it round her and I went ahead using it as a harness to keep her safe.
At the very top there is a little monastery, but we were there for the sunrise.
We made our way to the very edge with the best view.
There was no mist, or hardly a cloud in the sky and we got the most wonderous sunrise and subsequent view of the endless dessert hills.
It is unsurprising that it's here that many believe Moses spoke to god, you certainly feel the holiness of the place at that time of the morning.
The sun rose fast, and after a short time we decided to head back, before we could stand however, on the drop below us, a Bedouin, previously out of site, rose first - toilet roll in hand, he reordered his robes and strolled off.
Whilst we were enjoying a romantic, valentine, honeymoon, mountain sunrise, it seemed our local friend (maybe even first Yoseph) had the whole time, been taking a morning dump in front of us!
At least our experience was unique.
Yoseph and our other two friends were just stirring when we climbed back down, and soon we were ready to start the trek back down.
Surprisingly the route down is made via a very ordinary and easily navigated rock steps, which for some reason during Storm we had avoided using.
The heat of the morning, had by this time returned and although we reached the bottom in half the time, we were a lot more sweaty.
Our original tour guide met us at the bottom outside St Catherine's monastery.
Inside we would be seeing such sites as the burning bush, a sacred well and a monks detached finger (or thumb we weren't entirely sure)
Turns out though, as we found out during a very elaborate speech by the tour guide, that the place was closed as it was a day of prayer for the monks.
This, after the hot trek down was a little disappointing for everyone, except Emma ,who had actually visited the monastery before and wasn't looking forward to it after the huge crowds she had experienced last time.
However, shortly after announcing we couldn't go in, Yoseph says that he knows a way in the back door and as the monks would all be in the central prayer room, we could sneak in without anyone knowing.
Perhaps not wise to be sneaking anywhere in Egypt when a Bedouin invites you to sneak in to a sacred monastery you just follow along.
Quite honestly it wasn't all that impressive, but I knew we'd were very lucky to be the only six people tip toeing around which certainly added to excitement.
The whole trip was so surprising, not least as it was pretty unorganised but it added to its charm.
Yoseph was great fun, and it's another odd story from Egypt that will always keep this marmite country close to our hearts.